


New Kid Slash Hipster Douchenozzle

by trashwriter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Crush at First Sight, Drabble, First Meetings, Getting Together, Gratuitous Swearing, M/M, Ron is a dork, and why it doesn't, but carl likes it, let me help you pick up your books" au, teenagers being teenagers, well the getting together is implied, why being the new kid sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 19:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5387045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashwriter/pseuds/trashwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And okay maybe being a sophomore sucks just a little bit less than being a freshman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Kid Slash Hipster Douchenozzle

Carl is guessing that he probably shouldn’t have traded in his beat to shit cowboy hat for the generic grey beanie that seems to be a staple for Alexandrian high schoolers because about three minutes into third period while he’s desperately searching for the locker the office lady had told him was assigned to him, someone shouts: “Mikey you hipster douchenozzle!” and suddenly his books are flying everywhere and he’s got an excellent view of the pencil stuck in the ceiling tile above his head.

 _Its official_ , he thinks to himself, wondering absently whether the floor will open up and swallow him if he just lays there for long enough, being a sophomore is just as shitty as being a freshman and he’s going to have to change his name and move to Siberia or risk being forever known as that transfer kid who wiped out in the hall on the first day back.

As he’s lying there wondering if he’s reached the critical threshold of ‘done with this shit’ or if he can maybe pick himself up and go on, a handsome, and comically horrified, face appears in his line of vision. Interestingly Carl thinks, they’re wearing the same grey beanie. The one that apparently makes him look like a hipster douchenozzle. Figure that one out.

“I am so, so sorry,” says the guy, “I can’t even believe I just did that, I just thought you were my dickweed friend, I—I—I will get your shit just, stay, stay right there!”

“S’okay,” Carl says, even though it’s really not, cause hey, honest mistake, not the guy’s fault, exactly…okay it’s kinda the guy’s fault but Carl doesn’t feel like blaming him not when he can slide out of the steady stream of student traffic to press his back against the lockers and try not to laugh as he watches this kid chase his class notes and chemistry textbook around the hall.

He’s taken off his beanie and is grinning into his knees when the guy reappears with all of his stuff and slides down next to him.

“Holy shit, Kelly Wurtzheimer is a bigger dick then I am,” he comments, as he holds them out, “And that is saying something because I am seriously a major dick, you know I tripped some random guy in the hallway today?”

“Yeah, I might’ve heard something about that,” Carl replies, just barely managing his trademark deadpan.

“I’m Ron, by the way, Ron Anderson the eternally apologetic,” he says, holding out a hand.

“Carl Grimes, random new kid slash hipster douchenozzle.”

“Oh god,” Ron moans, scrubbing at his face with a both hands as if that could erase the embarrassment, “I am really so incredibly sorry.”

“So you’ve said,” Carl says, letting a smirk curl his lips, “But if you were really sorry you’d buy me lunch.”

“Yeah?” says Ron hopefully.

“Couldn’t hurt anything.”

“Alright then, cafeteria is this way, and can I just say that I think after the harrowing experience of our first meeting, I think we both deserve one of the giant cookies, and also that I think you’re adorable and I’m gonna be that asshole who asks for your number, sorry, is that cool?”

Carl blinks for a moment not sure he heard Ron correctly, but no, Ron’s not making eye contact, and is tomato red and scratching at the back of his neck anxiously, and even a kid who hadn’t spent his formative years watching police interrogations instead of cartoons on Saturday mornings would have been able to tell that Ron just didn’t have his brain-to-mouth filter engaged.

He blinks again, and hopes that he’s at least playing this a little bit cooler than Ron because honestly it feels like there’s a bird living in his stomach and his heart is about to beat out of his chest with giddy excitement.

“Sure,” he says, and his voice might not be perfectly steady but, hey, it’s good enough, “If this giant cookie thing turns out okay I might even pick up if you call.”

“Seriously?” blurts Ron.

Carl shrugs, “You’re pretty adorable for a self-proclaimed dick.”

“Holy shit,” says Ron emphatically, grinning from ear to ear, so honestly that Carl can’t help but grin back, and he digs his phone out from his back pocket to offer up to his shiny new crush and potential future boyfriend.

And okay maybe being a sophomore sucks just a little bit less than being a freshman.

 

***

 

 

> **NEW CONTACT CREATED**
> 
> **Ron (aka that bag of dicks) <3 <3 <3**

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I actually really like how this turned out because of Ron's spaz maneuvers and Carl's internal monologue, obviously this has nothing to do with canon so the personalities displayed herein might seem a little bit off but I like the idea of these boys just getting to be dorks once and a while
> 
> Anyway here's hoping you all enjoyed!! Many thanks to the lovely Nonnie who prompted this bad boy hope you enjoyed your fill~~


End file.
